By Rod



Toby Creek, Seven Canyons Run

Hmmm... Where do I start?

Well for the first time, I truly feared for my Life...

My first swim (you know you had a bad day when you start the story off with "My first swim" ) was simple stupidity on my behalf, I collided with Mike in the middle of a class four boulder garden, my fault for being too close. I instinctively leaned away from Mike and went over , My paddle was on the wrong side of my boat getting wedged in rocks; every time I tried to roll, I would crash into a boulder, Bang, Thumb, and Bang, Back, all took serious blows; finally my stern apparently went up onto a boulder. Needless to say, I pulled and abandoned the boat and swam to shore. Bang, Knee..

Owing a few beers... The next swim was the big one, in a rapid deceptively named 'Juniors'.

Juniors is a pourover not much more than five feet into a canyon not much wider than ten feet, with a vertical rock wall just after the drop on the left. I honestly don't remember the undercut but the boys say I kept disappearing into it so I guess it's there. Wade goes first, with a little effort but seemed to make it quite easily; Mike goes next and gets worked, but Mike always gets worked so I figure I can Ace this no problem. My turn, I charge the pourover with all the effort of a wet gerbil, miss the crux stroke, pencil in and Bam! I'm slammed up against the rock wall on river left and then the recirc grabs me like the Hand of Neptune and I'm sucked back in the hole...

Surf, surf, surf, window-shade, window-shade, feeble ender-out attempt then all of the sudden I'm spat out like a piece of well-chewed bubble gum. "Whack" against the wall on river left again. Suck, slurp, suck, slurp...

Back into the hole for Round Two.. "Ding..."

Surf, surf, surf, window-shade, window-shade, feeble ender-out attempt, spat out up against the same fucking wall river left, suck, suck, paddle, paddle, suck, suck, suck, paddle, slurp...

"Ding..." It's Round Three folks, and the underdog Rod in the Red and white Kayak is looking a little weak...

Chew, Chew, Chew, Work, work, work, Spit, Bang, Hello wall, nice to see you again... Now I'm scared, really fucking scared , I'm not getting out of this in my boat but it a least it floats up to the surface. I'm not sure what will happen to me without it but I am tired, scared and very lonely.

So I pull and abandon ship. Ahhhhhh! "Freedom!" I yell, and suck suck suck, Swim! Swim! I say sluuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp...

"Ding..." Round Four. Back in the Hole this time...

My boat is in there with me getting its revenge on me for bringing him down this river and spank, spank, spank, "for all the seal launches" It says.
Uppercut.. "for the time you drove off with out tying me down."
And last but not least Body Blow "for all the times you peed in me you lazy shithead!"
Spit , whack , "Hello wall, Hey look Are those my fingernails in the rock?" A suck, a slurp, a suck. "Bye bye wall hello hole.." goodbye cruel world... pound, work, spank, slam... So now I am beyond scared and I realize I am going to die. Let me tell all of you drowning is not a peaceful way to go. I curl into a ball hold onto my knees...

Now the story is up to the other guys I don't remember much but apparently I went in and out a few times. I did get spit out, I think. Wade threw in the white towel and the river just let me go... Grab onto the stern of Wade's boat and he screams "Hold on tight Rod, Hold on!" No death grip, No energy. I just somehow looped my arm over the back of his boat and he pulled me to the wall on river right. There, in the rock wall was a crack two feet wide, the water boiling out of it and a stick about four inches in diameter wedged between the faces like a wee little bird perch. I climb onto it. It was dark and terrifying but let me tell you I have never been so happy in my life to be out of the water...

I look at Wade, then at my boat which is still getting chewed to bits in the Hole. I say "Thanks man... Look, I held onto my paddle--pretty cool of me!" Wade laughs and says, "No man, it came launching up from the depths, hit you in the face then got stuck under your arm while you were swimming."

I say, "Well you're not getting a beer for the paddle rescue, dude."

Eventually I get back into my boat, find a safe eddy downstream, get out of my boat and try to climb out of this fuckin' canyon. I made it about 150 feet but that was it. I was by myself, the boys below were setting up for this crazy rope portage. I had a little private Hissy fit and a good long cry. Then Mike shows his face just below me and says "Rod, where are you going?" I reply, "I guess with you," and down we go.

"So, what's next?" I ask Wade. "Oh, the Hard stuff is around the corner," he says... Well, I finished the run and I am glad I did. If I had not kept on going and had been able to climb out, I never would have paddled again.

Thanks to Mike, Wade and Barry for sharing in a most amazing day and being there for me when I needed friends the most..

Rod